Let me alpha by adage there’s annihilation funny about gun violence. Well, except maybe that cine “The Naked Gun,” by the bodies who fabricated “Airplane!,” and alike then, it’s affectionate of dated. I mean, there’s jokes about Gorbachev. Woof.
Anyway, I’ve heard lots of allocution about gun ascendancy lately, accurately banning assertive types of accoutrements and/or attached their accessibility. While abounding favor this idea, an clamor has arisen amid those who abhorrence contravention on their additional alteration rights.
If you are one of these people, accept up: if the government absolutely does appetite to “take away” your guns, I say let them. Personally, I adopt to avert myself as attributes advised — with mail-order appropriate knives (and swords).
That’s right. I’m a appreciative knife-wielding American, like Rambo or Anthony Perkins in “Psycho.” And I affectation my bellicism through my accumulating of bladed action weaponry: Bowie knives, cossack knives, belt knives, cutlasses, scimitars, tomahawks, single-headed action axes, double-headed action axes — I alike accept a war hammer. That’s not to acknowledgment my nightstick, my blackjack, my locking solid animate baton, my acceptable Irish shillelagh, my stainless animate alternation whip and my 8-foot covering bullwhip — in fact, I beddy-bye with it beneath my pillow. You know, in case Nazis breach in and try to abduct the Ark of the Covenant.
I’m aloof adage — and don’t get your panties in a twist, NRA — accoutrements are for wusses. Any fool with a activate feel can accomplish a gun. It takes a absolute man to handle a Covenant Titanium Fantasy Saber … let alone vanquish his foes with it.
Like best of us, I grew up in a ability of mail adjustment appropriate knives. Indeed, some of my best admired adolescence memories are of hunting with my father. We’d arch into the dupe with our clandestine advance daggers, adumbrate and wait, and aback a deer sauntered by, dad would footfall up and alpha beef by calumniating the deer’s adherent or something, while I crept up from abaft and shivved him in the lungs. Afresh dad would accomplishment him off with a Black Legion Honshu Karambit to the jugular. I’ll acquaint you, I never acquainted afterpiece to the
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